Fat Pants

Now that I've lost two sizes, I have a conundrum every weight-loss patient has to resolve. What do I do with my fat pants?

Do I save them so I can take the ubiquitous picture of me in one leg my fat pants? Do I send them to a recycling service so that they can bundle them up and send them to another country for resale? (A pair could be cut down to make two pair for some lucky recipient.) Do I hang them on the wall to remind from whence I came?

None of those options really appeal to me. Here are some thoughts that I had:

1. Send them to my skinny sister, the runner. She and and my brother-in-law are campers. They could use a pair as a summer weight double sleeping bag. One person in each leg.
2. I could seal off the waist and cuffs, inflate them and sell them to the weather service as weather balloons.
3. With enough tar, I could patch the roof on my house (which started leaking last night) and it would save me the $1000 deductible that my insurance company is about to charge me. Since I don't have an HOA in my neighborhood I should be able to get away with that solution for years.
4. Maybe the Naval Signal Corps could use them? I'm sure they are cutting every budget including semaphore flag purchases these days.
5. They would make a great car cover for a mini-cooper or VW bug. Maybe even a small sedan like a Toyota Corolla. You could use the back-pockets as a hide-a-key.
6. If one person held onto each leg hem, they could be the finish line at the next Olympics. Hopefully the winner won't be in the center lane. Hitting the zipper tab at those would be killer. It would be a whole new type of sports injury that would need specialized treatment.
7. Since they are stretch denim, we could attach them to a frame with spring and use them as a trampoline for the neighborhood children.
8. Since saving money is very hip, Hollywood could use them for the down-rent openings - a denim carpet instead of a red carpet.
9. I could send them to the Boy Scouts of America. They could use them for Pup tents. If they are cub scouts, they could use the sleeping bags. Since the BSA doesn't approve of same sex relationships, we would cut the legs apart so there are no double sleepers.
10. Colorado and Wyoming Event planners could use them as a tablecloths for the cowboy theme weddings that are so ubiquitous around here.
11. If there is a nun novitiate around somewhere with eight singing children to care for, they could be made into jumpers and shorts for the children.
12. I swear I've haven't owned a pair of Pink Pants since I was five, but if I did have fat pink pants, I could donate them to the Breast Cancer Awareness cause. They could be a Pink Ribbon on a high-rise during Fund Raising Activities.

These are just a few thoughts. If you have others, share them with me. This is a critical issue for all weight-loss surgery patients. Help save us from the usual before and after pictures.

Two Months

It's been almost two months since I took the plunge and had gastric bypass surgery. I am still figuring out my new system, but overall think I am past the surgery recovery.

It took me five years to make the decision to have surgery. I think there were two things that made me decide this was the right move.

1. I had cancer. A kind or cancer that was likely caused by my weight. I was paralyzed by the fear of a recurrence.

2. Someone pointed out to me that I no longer had the luxury of time. Between my age, the threat of another cancer and my worsening health, I knew it was time.

It took six months to get the procedure approved. The first request was denied, and then by a stroke of luck, the universe, or whatever, my company was purchased by a much larger company with excellent benefits. The surgeon's office resubmitted the request and in less than 5 days it was approved. I had my surgery two weeks later on February 2nd.

I need to pause here and send out a huge thank you to my friend Donna. She took time off from work to take me to the hospital and to stay with me during the early recovery. She made the process much easier and I can't thank her enough for helping me through those first days.

The hardest physical part of the surgery has been to learn when to quit eating. Several times after over-indulging, I have spent the evening with my head hanging over the toilet. It hasn't happened in a while so I am hopeful that I have learned the limits of my pouch.

The best part has been that as long as I don't overeat, I feel great. I have more energy then I have had in several years. I feel at least 10 years younger, which is a great feeling especially when I remember that I'm a grandmother.

The very hardest part has been breaking up with food. Food has been my friend, my confidante, and my shelter from the things that hurt me for a very long time. I am working daily on relearning my relationship to food. I still love to cook and eat good things, but as a very wise fellow WLS patient reminded me, now when I have dinner for four, there are four people at the table.

On of the best things happened when I got the hospital bill. I had expected it to be around $500 due to my mis-reading of the health insurance policy. When the bill arrived, it was $2,348. My first reaction was stress.

By the time I put the bill down on the table, I had completely changed my attitude. I realized that what I'm gaining from this process was worth any amount of money. I am happy to pay every penny of that bill and the others that have arrived from the surgeon, his assistant, the anesthetist, the EKG specialist, and so on.

I'm still early in my process. I have lost over 10% of my starting weight. I hope to lose the same amount in the next two months. I am down two sizes. I have lost over 12 inches in my measurements.

I have gained a healthy respect for my nemesis, food. I am learning not to hide behind it, but to face the things that frighten me instead. While I work on becoming the body and person I am meant to be, I expect my evolution to be littered with anxiety and joy, fear and confidence, as well as personal and spiritual metamorphosis.

I look forward to this movement of my life's sonata. My opus major.

Aha Moments - Tweets Ahoy!

I just had one of those Aha Moments similar to the one I had when I learned to read. I distinctly remember that burst of energy that hit my brain when I started to put together letters into words and how the words formed stories and how the stories could be written down. Thus began my love affair with words.

I had a similar burst when I used the web for the first time. I thought my head was going to explode with the possibilities. I couldn't sleep for days because my head was spinning with the leaps that we, as a society, could make. I think it was almost as if not as revolutionary as the printing press.

The most recent aha moment is about Twitter and how we communicate with our customers and vendors. It started because I sent a tweet about loving Salesforce.com and suddenly, they were following my twitters. I went to their recent updates and found a link to an article "How to Get Customer Service via Twitter". What an idea! Now we are connected via the web, via our phones, (i-phones for those who can have them - sorry Nancy & Dave), IM - what's next?

So I know I'm behind the times and slow to adopt this Web 2.0 stuff, but my god! Now that I'm there, I'm bowled over! I think my brain might explode.

If you find pieces of my brain laying around, please scrape it up and send back to me. I need all I can get. Things are moving so fast that if I don't have it all, I might not keep up.

It's all about Pink

So - to go with my pink helmet, Donna got me a pink bell for my bike (it says "I love my bike" on it) and has a beautiful ting! ting! sound.

But best of all - she got me pink socks that say "Cancer Sucks!" on them. I love them! I'm going to wear them to work out in today. They are a beautiful shade of pink and they fit my attitude exactly. For your very own Cancer Sucks items, visit http://www.cancersucks.com/.

Another site that I love is http://www.crazysexycancer.com/. If you didn't see the documentary of the same name, I highly recommend it. It's a really inspiring to see someone fighting back with the humor and determination Kris Carr has. I revisit her blog and book (which I own - also courtesy of Donna) every so often to keep me from feeling sorry for myself.

Another site that I spend a lot of time on is http://www.cancerschmancer.com. Fran Drescher founded this group as a political action group to help push an agenda of early detection for women's cancers. Fran was mis-diagnosed and mis-treated for peri-menopause when she actually had Uterine Cancer. She is driving to create an environment that diagnoses all gynecological cancers in stage 1 when they are the most curable as well as pushing for an improvement in women's health care nationwide.

An organization that I would encourage everyone to look at and contribute to if possible is the Healthlinks Clinic in Boulder. Director Trudy Turvey is an amazing person that understands that treating the whole person is the most important part of survivorship. Their mission is to help survivors cope with the physical and emotional sides of surviving a frightening diagnoses. I can't say enough about how much working with HealthLinks has meant to me as a survivor.

While I feel so fortunate that I was diagnosed as early as I was even if it was a complete fluke, cancer has defined my life in a way I never expected. I sometimes wonder if there really was a "before" for me as even though it hasn't even been quite a year, it feels like it's been my life forever. Like a sonata (you all knew you would get an link to the blog name eventually - right?), this movement of my life is in a very contrasted key and theme.

Like Riding a Bike

I went for a ride tonight - it was fantastic. Of course, I'm in horrible shape, but it felt great. I haven't ridden in 20 years or more, but it was just like, um, riding a bike. It was completely natural.

I rode around Old Town Longmont. Gardens are starting to come to life and are making me realize that I need to start working on mine. No more excuses.

What I like about bike-rides:

• The Freedom
• The Wind in my face
• Feeling the burn in my legs

What I don't like about bike-rides:

• Cars
• The seat on my bike
• Asthma

Bicyle

I bought a bike! I'm so excited about it. I haven't ridden a bike in about 20 years. I had so much fun - I had forgotten how freeing it is to pedal away.

My helmet is pink. In case you wondered.